Had a long talk with a good friend yesterday. Things have been decided.
1. I’m no longer going to give an ef about people who don’t give an ef about me.
Clarification: I don’t intend on being mean, harboring ill feelings toward anyone, etc. BUT I am resolving not to waste anymore brain power, energy, thoughts and emotions on people who clearly don’t care. It’s a losing battle, and I will always be the one losing. There are plenty of more important things for me to focus those efforts on in my life.
2. In relation to the last post, I am not currently taking any applications for “convenient friendships.”
You know. Those people who are only around and act like a friend when it is convenient for them. Those girls who only want to spend time with you when they want to gossip and think that you know something & they’re hoping you’ll tell them. Those guys who only give two craps about treating you nicely & being your friend when they want someone to hook up with. Those people who are suddenly around right before they need a favor. Those “friends” who are never there to count on when you actually need a friend.
These people suck life out of me. I inevitably assume incorrectly that we are in fact REAL friends only to be proven wrong time and time again. Frankly, I’m over it. I know who these people are in my life, and I fully intend on adjusting my relationships with them (and my mindset/expectations of them) accordingly.
3. As a result of #1 & #2, I want and need to start focusing and investing more in the real friendships in my life. And even branching out and investing in those who have simply been teetering on the edge of my life, so to say.
The people who you always say, “let’s get together and hang out sometime!” or “let’s talk and catch up soon” to, and you 100 percent mean it; but for some reason, it just never ends up happening. The follow through isn’t there. Things get busy. Other people (and even sometimes the people in #1 & #2) take priority. I am just as guilty of this as the next person. And that’s about to change. I want to invest more. I want to be relational. I don’t have any excuses for feeling lonely after kicking those in the aforementioned categories to the curb when there are so many people on the edges of my circle that I can be investing in. And if anything, the process of #1 & #2, will open up a lot more time, mental energy, and room in my heart for others.
I also would never want the people that I do consider my close and real friends to not feel as though I am reciprocating their love and friendship. What things have I been missing in their lives because of the business of my own? Have I missed opportunities to encourage them in their struggles because i’ve been too busy focusing on mine?
Friendships are a wonderful, beautiful, two-way-street investment between crazy, complicated, happy, lovable, confusing, infuriating, awesome human beings. They allow for us to encourage each other, to share in experiences and make memories together, and to learn how to work through life with other people who can be as similar and different from us as all get out. Some friends come into your life for only a season, some will stay forever, some will pop in and out of your life throughout the course of it—all adding different things to your life in various ways & giving you opportunities to add to their lives. But there are also some who disguise themselves as friends that really aren’t friends at all; and, frankly, I don’t need to deal with their shit anymore. :) So no more of that for me.
“You will find that it is necessary to let things go; simply for the reason that they are heavy. So let them go, let go of them. I tie no weights to my ankles.” - C. JoyBell C.
As I told my friend, I am not so great at putting these resolutions into 100 percent practice yet, but I shall be doing my best to try and work toward that!>>
Forgot how much I love this song.
that 70’ show | best of red forman
↳ “If I were a younger, more flexibel man I’d shove my foot up my own ass!”